He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You may now shotgun with the bride
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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