Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
