are you still at the devil's house?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize