There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
