Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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