And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
