I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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