yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
