Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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