I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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