Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
