All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
