i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
