Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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