just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
