the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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