just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
