one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
