onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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