Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
