My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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