wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
be right there i have to get my cape
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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