Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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