i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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