I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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