You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
