so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I supernannyed him into submission
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
