Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
