I cannot find my penis.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
