I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize