this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
