Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
