you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
a search helicopter?!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
