but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
