God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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