My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
