im holly from the hills drunk
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
