if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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