That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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