You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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