i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
