Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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