bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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