The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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