Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
