So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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