WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
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Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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