I'm eating all of the evidence.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
