We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
