she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
