Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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