I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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