Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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