But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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