just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
