I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
