I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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