some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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