Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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