okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
