I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Randomize
